The Parenting Clubhouse Podcast Episode 146: Is It Normal for My Child to Refuse Help?

behavior parenting podcast Jan 18, 2022

Have you ever been in a situation in which your toddler asks for or requests your help in some way, you begin to offer that help, and then they freak out, whine, and get upset because you are helping them… and you’re doing the exact thing they wanted help with. 

You’re left feeling, “uh, what the heck just happened?!” 

These types of moments are not too surprising with our still-developing toddlers, and if we can understand this toddler behavior with a developmental lens, parenting becomes a heck of a lot easier, so much less irritating, and much more enjoyable for us. 

But maybe you’re still left questioning yourself: what on earth do I do in this situation? How should I handle the “I want help but I actually don’t want help” scenario? 

My main advice here: direct and clear communication is key. 

Let’s talk about that now. Let’s head to the show. 


  • Laura Lynn explains developmentally why toddlers ask for help but then get upset when you offer that help; 
  • She walks you through how to handle and manage behavior within two different examples and demonstrates how you can respond in the moment; and 
  • She shares how providing choices can help prevent the behaviors from occurring under these circumstances. 


In order for you to bring ease to your parenting, in order for you to not lash out, get frustrated, or blame yourself for your toddler’s behaviors is to understand your child’s behavior in terms of development. Looking at behavior as science and looking at behavior with the developmental framework is what I dive deep into within my coaching sessions. Sign up for your FREE coaching call at

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