The Parenting Clubhouse Podcast Episode 38: Winning the Mindset Battle of Using Rewards with Our Kids

parenting podcast rewards Dec 03, 2019

Hi there and welcome to The Parenting Clubhouse Podcast! If you use rewards with your kids - for good behavior, to complete chores, for homework completion, to go to bed without a fight, or what have you - you likely have the feelings that most parents have: doubt, worry, questioning the use of the rewards. So in today’s episode, I’m going to talk all about that mindset piece of using rewards and walk you through how to turn that doubt into the confidence you desire. Oh, and I want to remind you about my Regain Control of Your Child’s Behavior course

As parents, we tend to have a lot of negative feelings surrounding using rewards with our kids. We question ourselves and our parenting. Do other kids use rewards? Why can’t my child do X without a reward? Will my child need a reward forever? Is there something wrong with my parenting? 

To help curb this negative parenting mindset, the first thing we need to do it to remember why we are using a reward in the first place. What’s our goal? Why are we using the reward? 

We may use the reward to increase a desirable behavior, like completing chores or following a morning or bedtime routine. We may also use a reward to decrease or manage inappropriate behavior, like inappropriate language. We are likely to also use rewards when we are teaching our young children new skills, like potty training or sharing toys. 

Our whole goal with the reward system is to improve some sort of behavior. That’s why I go in-depth in my Regain Control of Your Child’s Behavior course with specific parenting strategies that we can use to prevent unwanted behavior like crying, whining, tantrums, and the like. And when we think about this mindset piece surrounding rewards, the key to a positive mindset it to keep our goal in mind. What is our goal? What is our purpose for the reward? 

We also need to know that rewards will change over time, and it’s likely that they will change. We may provide a reward less often because our child is doing well. We may need to provide a reward more often because our child needs a little extra help right. We may change the size of the reward. And we may get rid of the reward gradually over time. 

When we know and realize that rewards will change, we are more likely to be more comfortable with our parenting and using the reward in the first place. We also need to think about the needs of our child at this current moment in life and let that thought influence our mindset. 

So when we think about our ultimate goal for the reward, when we know that rewards are likely to change, and when we have the right mindset surrounding using rewards, we are more able to turn that doubt, worry, and fear into the parenting assurance and confidence that we desire. 

Before we go, I must mention my Regain Control of Your Child’s Behavior course if you’re ready for some specific and easy strategies to use at home to help manage and prevent those unwanted behaviors. 

And, of course, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share with your friends! 

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